“我习惯了”
这句话你说了几遍？

我们总是把“我习惯了”当成一个借口
来阻止自己改变
来逃避面对

我常说自己是个不会处理感情的人
找不到改变自己的理由
习惯了习惯
任由习惯

其实
多少次我麻醉自己
多少滴眼泪
你们
不会懂

sometimes i rather that i hear nothing
just like the rest
do not have to know
do not have to care
i feel tiredness on my shoulders

let me breathe
slow this down

how i wish i could go back to tasmania now

Cataract Gorge Reserve, Launceston

at least i saw carefree over there


yan
*sudden emo*

daddy can cook!

let me just share with u what actually happened this afternoon. mum went for work and the cooking is now incharged by our pa, MR. LIM *applause*

half naked chef


with his 2 helpers. i am also one of them =P


happily cooking


he said he has talent in cooking.
i stared at him.
then he asked "u can cook also right?"
i said "of course!"
and so he said "so you have to agree with me."
=.="


his first dish. honestly im not afraid to taste it. haha!
after this dish, the chef stopped, so i asked him whether he has no more idea how to continue cooking. he nod. then continue to crack his head to come out with something.


closed up!


the forever-not-cooperative-one


tofu


all served! and we decided to have our lunch together in the living room. sorrie la no dinning room. haha! and of course the not cooperative one keep ignoring us. so we also boh chap her. haha!


healthy hor?

now, gimme a YUMMY look! :-

so who wins?


yeah! cleaned!!! we had our "wine" too btw. haha! it's rose juice larr..






haihh... padan, sendiri makan!

so dear readers and yingyan, treasure every moment u have with your family. go home when u can, and/or when u have time. it is worth the time and the money to see their smiles. yes, i like smiling faces.

say goodbye to me as i am leaving penang for my aussie trip in about 5 hours later!! i hope everything goes well and i will see u when i see u.

yan
*life's brief candle. break your limit! go further!*

first day in penang

it's holiday now!
but this holiday seem so different.
things changed.
ya part of my life changed.

note to self:
do not overdependent. it is of no use.

i have a wonderful group of friends named the baoz. they said those that stay furthest from penang got better privilege. haha yup. they woke themselves up at 0600hr and rushed to pick me up at the terminals. and i have to dedicate this phrase to miss CH'NG CHOO WAEY!! HOW CAN U PPK US JUST BECAUSE U WANT TO SLEEP!!!

3 weeks away from them feels like 3 years. HAHA~! and miss ho, im gonna miss u. hope to see u for xmas okay?! take care over there. i know u came bk BECAUSE OF ME. the breakfast becomes so special with your presence (:

first day home was awesome, as i got to sleep through the sunday afternoon. went shopping with ma, spent some money, got my present from her, emo a while, quiet for a while, tired for a while, and off i leave for mag's new house at farlim!! =)

it was a simple gathering. not a formal housewarming right? i think it's just a simple steamboat treat from her family and we were just there to crash the partieee =P did i define it good enough?

so here are the pictures i got from my camera. most of them are blur because they are all taken by LIM HOOI HOON- the shaky hand.

me ss-ing with my plate while mei and judy got speechless-ed


one of the tables. the tomyam one. haha! it wouldn't be that syiok if the two uncles weren't there.


judy with her greatest smile on earth (:


me got spiced up by the sambal and su (okay, she is su-mei if u want to know) trying to learn how to chopstick with chopstick =P


random blur shot


maybe u cant see their faces but this is boon with a it's-time-to-change white t, waey with her liverpool jersey and edison who is obviously the only guy in the picture.


guess who was in that auntie pink?


u can recognize her even it is so blur right?
the auntie = chew mei yee! congratulations ya!! i like your new house!!

most of the pictures are with boon and waey. i can't wait to see the funny ones!!

it was an amazing night, ain't it? i especially like the last part of the gathering where everyone finally sits down and talk. i din talk much cuz i got no story to share. sad right? haha!

til then

yan
*tell me that u are still u*

out of nowhere

i realize that i have been so worried
i mean
i start to worry for everything
things that happened,
things that yet to happened,
things that are happening.

out of nowhere
i feel lost
i feel empty

yan
*right here*

my passport to aussie

a special gift from someone special named muffin. i got a shock cuz i never ever expected her to make me a booklet during the exam period. the message was really thoughtful but i choose to keep it personal.

so that's my passport to aussie. thank you! thank you! i dunno what shall i say other than THANK YOU! and ur cross stitch is CUTEEEEE!!

is it a xmas present? and can u sew nicer next time? haha!

i heart u!

yan
*it is easy to love me*

i smell xmas!

~joy to the world! the lord is come~ let earth receive her king~ let every heart~ prepare him room~ and heaven and nature sing~ and heaven and nature sing~ and heaven and heaven and nature sing~

do u smell xmas? i do i do!!

exam's over! where is "emo"? oh. he found his wings and flew back to his planet already. so where is "stress?" i cannot find her shadow. i think she doesn't want to be my good friend anymore. HAHA~! shoo!

so as planned, me and muffin headed to vivo for Marche after our last paper. i think today is not a day for good food. we didn't eat much and we are like quite suei as the food from Marche and the coffee+cake from Gloria Jean's are quite disappointing. anyways, it is a good day. so nothing did spoilt our mood actually.

we caught this show

because:
(1) we got extra time to spend; no exam.
(2) 2010 are selling like a hot ban chen kuih; available seats are all at the first row.
(3) it's a jim carrey show; i was once his fan.
(4) IT'S A CHRISTMAS MONTH!!

haha! but i dunno is it because of the little girl who was sitting beside carol irritates me, or because i don't really feel comfortable with the 3D glasses, or because the show is so-ghost-of-girlfriend's-past, or because it is indeed not nice. haha! i like the way the snow falling in front of me. and that's all!

so after food, then movie, then COFFEE!! muffin left for her flight home and i headed to starbucks to queue for my FREE coffee! YEP! FREE!!

it was an activity liaising with salvation army. so most of the customers did some donation before stepping in to the cafe.

cool right? i shall say that i am lucky. haha! i wish my luck is in the exam hall though.

yan
*yes, i edited this* =P

when 4 becomes 1

i am dead.
so dead.

i din even want to wake up from the nap so that i don't have to continue studying.

@@

i had 3 papers within 26 hours. very shiong! very tiring! i feel like giving up already.

and in about 36 hours from now, i will be having my last paper- ode. so of course out of guilt, i am sitting in from of my computer, wanted so much to start mugging. but when i see matrices.. numbers.. theorem.. OMG!! i cant get over to the other 2 math modules that i have sat for.

MY MIND IS SPINNING!! it is all blended together already!!

looking at the ode notes, i am blanked!! i thought i already prepared for it loooooooooooooong before i started my first paper. omg! so alien to me!!

can u say hi? can u talk?

initially i wanted to talk about the paper that i took this afternoon but haihh.. suan le bah~ i think.. suan le bah~~

too many things are in my mind. i cannot sort out which are rubbish. HELP!!!

yan
*remember to breathe*