i'm working towards my goal.
enjoyed the process but definitely aiming for a positive payoff!
it's tiring but it is ending soon.
hang in there, ying yan.

tomorrow, the day after tomorrow.
then, that's it.
i will graduate,
i MUST graduate!!

*my effort will pay off, cross fingers*
yan

emo max.

when did language pass year papers become so tough to me?
or is it really my problem that i dont remember what i learnt?
or is it because things that we have not learnt before will actually come out in the exam?

sonsengnim, reply my email tmr, okay?!
tell me that i can ignore the pyp can?
tell me that u guys changed the syllabus can?

and and
i spent so much time in forensic science:
listening to lecture recording,
doing notes,
anylyzing and trying to memorize the cases.
but today i just failed to ans 90% of the questions my friend pointed out to me!
how !? tell me how !?

i really couldn't continue anymore.
am scared.
will the paper come out to be like this !?

blame it on the pms then.

yan
*i dont know why but you are needed now*

announcement

the good news is:
i'm finally employed as an intern!
=> i secure a room during the vacation!
=> i booked my ticket home!
=> i can clear my 8 AUs with pass/fail basis!
=> i can concentrate more on my finals!

PARTAY RIGHT?!

for those who was being so supportive and kind to me during that desperation-for-internship-period,
A BIG THANK YOU FOR U GUYS!
you know who u are!
here's a purple kiss for u ♥

so the bad news is:
i caught a flu.

and this is fyi

yan
*i finally put on a mask*

monday blue

if u realize,
i've been chion-ing at lee wee nam library / hall 8 study room / hall 10 study room since 2 or 3 weeks ago.
that's so not ying yan right?

it's not that i wanna piah to first class ( which i'm not even close to )
or i wanna avoid anything.
dont think too much.
i'm just stressed.
i am stressed.
seriously.

it's like the 6th final exams i've sat since i stepped into ntu
scary.
every exams are haunting me.

i can tell you loudly that i am catching up my weekly work pretty fine this semester,
not to forget my 16 AUs of classes and 8 hours of work per week.
i think i utilized my time quite well and managed to play hard too.
(i syiok sendiri but i am happy ♥ )

if u wanna tell me that i look slack or u think i have been playing too much
i dont care.
at least i know what i am doing.
and i know jogging and spending time talking to friends everyday have now become my destressing act.
glad to have a daily routine like this but i miss sleeping.
as in. sleeping sweetly.

tomorrow is monday
scary monday that i am going to tense from 9am til 5pm.
i know why.

off to study room now.
12am sharp.

yan
*give me your hand*

colour therapy

i set up a new blog in tumblr called colour ♥ therapy , where i only reblog from people's blog and will sometimes upload my artistic shot *COUGH* if i want to. browsing through the photos do make me happy at times. so, i hope you like it too (:

i am now having a daily routine of waking up early for breakfast -> mug -> slack -> jog -> slack. i hope i keep the momentum up as i am enjoying it.

not going to talk much tonight. exam period. lotsa things to share though. aikz!

night to the world, and wish me luck for my internship application + japanese oral test!

yan
*did i ignore anything?*

when 4 becomes 1

i am dead.
so dead.

i din even want to wake up from the nap so that i don't have to continue studying.

@@

i had 3 papers within 26 hours. very shiong! very tiring! i feel like giving up already.

and in about 36 hours from now, i will be having my last paper- ode. so of course out of guilt, i am sitting in from of my computer, wanted so much to start mugging. but when i see matrices.. numbers.. theorem.. OMG!! i cant get over to the other 2 math modules that i have sat for.

MY MIND IS SPINNING!! it is all blended together already!!

looking at the ode notes, i am blanked!! i thought i already prepared for it loooooooooooooong before i started my first paper. omg! so alien to me!!

can u say hi? can u talk?

initially i wanted to talk about the paper that i took this afternoon but haihh.. suan le bah~ i think.. suan le bah~~

too many things are in my mind. i cannot sort out which are rubbish. HELP!!!

yan
*remember to breathe*

are you stupid too?

i think i am stupid
the surrounding has structured me into someone so damn irritably stupid idiot!
(got grammar mistake or not? whatever, you know what i mean)

tell me that i'm not alone
tell me that you are stupid too

hahahah~!

i am very stressed
yes, stress level: MAX
no attention is needed
don't have to say anything
just read this and close your windows

hahahah~!

stupid!!
i never labeled myself "stupid" before leh! OMG!

hahahah~!

why do i keep laughing in my post while i have =( on my face?

give me an "S" for my HP806- Psychology Of Crisis STRESS Management.

STRESS?

yes, this module thought us how to handle stress and stuffs in a crisis or in our daily life. honestly, i like the lecture(r) haha! but well, i cannot apply the theory-theory sekalian here to aid myself ):

make me pass all my core modules with at least.. i mean.. AT LEAST a B??
and my jap? i did some mistakes. aiks! let me score let me score!!

namonamonamonamonamo

arghhh... i dare not dream further
the notes are killing
the tutorials and pass year questions are devils!!
i don't even understand the solution!!

stay positive, stay focus, ignore anything that can affect my mood!

omitabah~~~

yan
*i have to save me from myself*

your voice is worth losing

i caught this song from the Mix FM this morning, and so it makes me click into youtube to search for the music video. i think it is too selfish to not to share. so i decided to spend 10 minutes of my revision time to post this up (:

It's All Coming Back To Me Now- Celine Dion

There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window

There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And I just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever

I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made

But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe but
It's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)

There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow
Baby Baby

If I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago
But it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist
And it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
But it's all coming back

There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse
And so much deeper

There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever

But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then

But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)

There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow
Baby, Baby, Baby

When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now

If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget
And it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now

(It's all coming back to me now)
And when you kiss me like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And when I touch you like that
(It's all coming back to me now)
If you do it like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And if we, , ,

adapted from: .azlyrics.com

the original music video is unable to be embedded but if you are interested, click here. (:

quoted from one of the comments: one of the most amazing voice in the earth.

ya i agree! who doesnt?

This is another "Ying Yan's Top 20 songs from the 90's".

To Love You More - Celine Dion

Take me back in the arms I love
Need me like you did before
Touch me once again
And remember when
There was no one that you wanted more

Don't go you know you will break my heart
She won't love you like I will
I'm the one who'll stay
When she walks away
And you know I'll be standing here still

I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

See me as if you never knew
Hold me so you can't let go
Just believe in me
I will make you see
All the things that your heart needs to know

I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

And some way all the love that we had can be saved
Whatever it takes we'll find a way

I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

adapted from: lyrics007.com

i personally think that these two pieces make the greatest hits in the 90's. and there is not much english songs that can make my eyes wet. (not cry but touched). so sing it out loud! your voice is worth losing q:

good! 8 mins! haha! wish me luck for my paper later!

yan
*more and more songs are playing in my mind*

an eye-swelling day

imma MIA for a while. i hope that i can do it. but other than that i think i will still be blogging.

*LOL*

wish me luck for my oral test later!

and on another note,
i feel.... so weird.
so weird to be not pampered.
it is aching to be left out.

on a happier note, you should read what my roomie blogged about her bday. she thanks me like really a thousand times. and i must say that YOU ARE WELCOME! cuz u made my day too! ya only "day". i ended my day with a da-bao-ed old town nasi lemak that night. pity me =(

maybe "somebody" is right, i am left with no friends. only my roomie. haha! whatever you want to say, go ahead! and i am telling you now that I DONT CARE!

will update soon i guess. i got too much to blog about.

yan
*i chose it, i live with it*

the mac pro effect

it was just yesterday when i met this stupid friend of mine for dinner @ the palate. pictures taken by his new friend that he wanted me to meet- mac pro.

thanks for showing off your mac. i can finally change my display picture.

exam period. i need entertainment. and i am now so bore that i couldn't even concentrate in my revision!

grrrrrrr.................. so i shall post this up to entertain u =)

yan

*current life's a straw*

350-400 words essay

note: you may click on the photo to magnify it

my first long essay with japanese language (:

for those that know jap, please skip this post.

for those that DON'T know jap, please praise me =)

thank you

yan

*there is too much!*

killing mid terms!

haha! i just cannot let my blog being so dead! I SHALL UPDATE!!!

so now i am sitting (studying) in my room. waiting for the the time to fly~~ HAHA!! im having a mid term paper later. so happy!!

WHAT? no no !! i am not prepared yet!! it's just that i have been suffering from all these mid term papers since............. few weeks ago? IT IS TORTURING OH-KAY! why do mid terms feel like finals?? hmph.... ):

everyone is asking for more time to get their stuffs done. but now i am not! i just hope that time passes faster so that i can go out and enjoy. i cant wait for thursday evening anymore. i cant wait to meet aunt for a night stay in the hotel!! *wheeeeee* ohhh i've got so many things to do after my thursday paper!! hahahaha!

so a note to myself and everyone who is reading this. keep ur mouth clean and healthy okay? gum infection is ridiculous! it hits me! damn boh song!! =( damn irritating u know! make me recover!! NOW!!! T_T

ok, back to studies. cheat shEEt not yet done OOPS!! @.@

yan

*what to eat what to eat?*